He who laughs last

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia beats being alone.

Bird sings

A bird does not sing because it has an answer - it sings because it has a song.

Your capacity

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.

just seeing you

never before, without a kiss,
have i ever been fascinated
as much as this

Central bleating

How do sheep keep warm in winter? Central bleating.

My luck

With my luck I'll be at the airport when my ship comes in.

In truth or lies

In truth or lies
I cannot find
words enough
to describe
your eyes

"Normal" people

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

luv u always

i luv u always i forget u never
ull stay in my heart 4ever and ever

Divorce

My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God, and I didn't.

Dine well

One cannot think well, sleep well, or love well if one has not dined well - Virgina Woolf

In a minute

Joe asks God, "God, what does a million years mean to you?"
God replies, "A minute."
Joe asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"
God replies, "A penny."
Joe asks, "Can I have a penny?"
God replies, "In a minute."

Remove it

Remove ur shoes,
remove ur shirt,
Remove ur pants too,
ahhhh uhhhhh ahhh....
thnk gudness, finally the suitcase is closed.

immigrant worker

immigrant: me no come work, me sick.
boss: when i'm sick, i do the naughty with my wife, try it.
2 hrs l8r the immigrant calls:
it work, me better, u got nice house.

So stupid

He's so stupid, he takes a ruler to bed to see how long he sleeps.

Vote for

Vote for the man who promises least. He'll be the least disappointing. - Bernard Baruch

I mist you

What did the fog say to the light rain after her vacation? A. I mist you.

Photogenic love

Love is photogenic: it needs darkness to develop.

Tulips

There are tulips in the garden, there are tulips in the park, but nothing is more beautiful than when our two lips meeting in the dark!