When we drink

'When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!' ~ Brian O'Rourke

Conservatives

A conservative is a worshiper of dead radicals.

Artificial Intelligence

Artificial intelligence: the other guy's opinion.

Almost

"Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order. It also is the longest excuse in any language.

Start thinking

Just when you start thinking... OK! That's enough!

God talks back

When people talk to God, it's called prayer. When God talks back, it's called schizophrenia.

Elephant & rhino

What do u get when u cross an elephant & a rhino? el-if-i-no