Flattery

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

Distance

Laughter is the shortest distance between friends.

Xmas splendor

2 things can neither change nor end, the splendor of Christ's humble birth, the love of friend for friend.

Traffic

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Candidate

A candidate is someone who gets money from the rich and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.

Budget

A budget is a complex method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.

Some people

Some people are alive only because its illegal to shoot them.

Conclusion

A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

Falling in love

Failing in love is easy but staying in love is something very special.

Summit

A camel is a horse designed by a committee at a summit.

Hesitate

He who hesitates is probably right.

Friends

Friends have a way of speaking without words.

Attitude

I don't have an attitude - I have a personality you can't handle!

Real money

Money is made of woven linen, not paper, not leaves - it doesn't grow on a tree in my backyard!