SMS txt poems & jokes

“Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don’t have a plan.” Larry Winget

Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.

When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.

If you’re too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for patience.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Save the earth - it is the only planet with chocolate!

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

Never buy a car you can't push.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Perfectionist is just another name for procrastinator.