Then came you

I prayed for a red bike, God gave me blue. I lost my old hat, He gave me new. I asked for a friend who will always be true. I prayed and prayed, then came you.

4 u i killa da bull

4 u i killa da bull. 4 ur sister, i kill u!

Backseat

Children in backseat may cause accidents. Accidents in backseats may cause children.

No complaint

No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening.

Good odds

If the goods are not odd, the odds are good.

y i sent it 2 u

Upon receiving this txt u must send it 2 1 person u like, 1 person u do not like, 1 person u luv, and 1 person u want 2 love. Now think about y i sent it 2 u!

Cowboy frog

What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy? Hoppalong Cassidy.

Harassment

What is it when a guy talks nasty to a girl? Sexual harassment. What is it when a girl talks nasty to a guy? $3.99 a minute.

Respect

Show respect, get respect.

Replace it

The fastest way to find something you've lost is to replace it.

Lose 14 stone

How do you lose 14 stone of fat? Dump him.

What to give

What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it.

Gorillas

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Coz they got big fingers!

Courtesy

Courtesy costs nothing but profits everyone.

Difficult things

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult. - Seneca

Bad jockey

A bad jockey blames the horse.

Why do u

Why do u always luv the 1 who leaves u and leave the one that luvs u!

Hey, text me!

HEY! can you text me and say hi or something? . . . My friend doesn't believe retards can text.

1 u luv

The hardest thing in the world is 2 c the 1 u luv with the 1 they luv.

Possible

I am neither an optimist nor a pessimist; I am a possibilitist.

Choice u make

The choice u make, makes u.

Cold

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold
tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Kissing germs

More germs are transferred shaking hands than kissing.

Road to success

The road to success is always under construction.

$700 billion

$700 billion is $2 million dollars for each of us in the US... it'll settle all my credit cards! How about yours?

Heartbeats

A human heart beats 100,000 times a day... but when I see you it goes up to 200,000!